Memorizing is hard.

It's hard to memorize a one-person show.

You'd think that would be a no-brainer, right?

Duh, Kendra. Anyone could've told you that.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it's hard. And I don't just mean time-consuming, though it certainly is that, too. But it's hard.

I read recently, and I think I might believe, that all memory, on the basest level, is association. We use a "macro" form of association as a memory trick, at times. For example, if you learned to play the piano at any point, you may have learned the phrase "Every Good Boy Does Fine" in order to memorize the treble clef--each letter associates with each word in the phrase.

In the 32-page monologue that is My Name is Rachel Corrie, the association occurs in that her thoughts all have a sequence. Example: she talks about wanting to do right by the town she grew up in, which makes her think of her mother, which then makes her remember to call her mother, which then leads her to talk to the audience about her mother, which then leads her to talk about her father, and you get the picture. These thoughts are all associated with each other, which makes them easier to remember. If there is an order to the words themselves within the different thoughts--if they make sense, being together--then they are easier to remember.

It's when the beats don't seem to have any clear connection that the memorizing gets hard. I'll blank, all of a sudden--have absolutely no idea which line comes next. And, unlike "normal" plays, I will have no one up onstage with me to help bail me out if I get stuck. Not, of course, that any actor should rely on another actor to "bail them out," but you at least have the comfort of knowing that someone else is also responsible for carrying the story along with you.

Memorizing lines in a dialogue is also typically easier because, in a conversation, what you say (usually) triggers a logical response in someone else, which then triggers another logical response in you. There's a pattern and and a logic to it. With an enormous monologue like this, there are no cues but my own to trigger my memory.

So the trick, then, is to create my own associations for the lines where there are none already apparent in my head.
For example, the following lines:

Studying the history of this area roots me. We've certainly waded in the same water and wandered on the same beaches as very brave people. It makes bravery seem more possible. We can look at that history and decide which side we want to be on now, how we are willing to fight. We are not outside.  

Over a thousand people are still, as far as I can tell, being held somewhere in the United States, and it's unclear why.

That break in between those lines was difficult for me for a while. I could never remember what came after "We are not outside." Then (and I don't think it was ever really a conscious thing), I started remembering the next few words--"Over a thousand"--because of the "o" in over and the "ou" in thousand. I associated them with the "ou" in outside.

Now, this seems simple, and you wouldn't think this would be such a difficult process. But when you have to intentionally create four or five intentional associations per page of text (and sometimes more), it gets tedious and difficult.

That was a lot of detail about my memorization process.

Right now I'm almost halfway through. I have almost fourteen pages of thirty-two memorized.

And, it seems like, eons still to go.

But. I know I'll get there.